For Those of You Who Skipped Out on Buying a Pre-Owned Rolex Watch in Favor of the Coveted 18-Karat Gold Apple Watch, Ha Ha, Jokes on You

For those of you who skipped out on buying a pre-owned Rolex watch in favor of the coveted 18-karat gold Apple watch, we have good news and bad news for you. Wait, we got that wrong, we have bad news and worse news for you.

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The bad news is that just after a year and a half of being on the market, Apple has discontinued the gold watch edition. And while nobody knows for sure just how many were sold, it is estimated the total number is around 2,000. Now, this number was nowhere near the amount Apple needed to continue production, so they have quietly pulled the gold watch from its website.

What’s worse? If you purchased one of these gold watches thinking it was some sort of brilliant investment, you might be in for a big disappointment. You see, unlike Rolex watches and other quality watches that were built to work a lifetime, the Apple watch is an electronic device, meaning it is destined to a fairly short life and slow, painful death. Yes, the Apple watch does have a short shelf life.

There are those who bought the gold version of the Apple watch because they wanted to make a statement about luxury. We’ll see in 10 or 20 years if wearing that non-functioning gold Apple watch sets you apart from others. You were delusional in thinking any Apple product, let alone a luxury product like the gold Apple watch, could spike your social status now and much less so in, say, 2027 when nobody will even know what an Apple watch looked like.

Let’s hope eliminating the phone jack from the new iPhone will prove to be a better idea.